Really? I mean really..

Hey everyone Newt Gingrich won the South Carolina primary! What really amazes me in all of this is the number of contradictions this makes for republicans.
1) Newt trashed Mitt Romney's wealth and his use of it in the election. Now a we all know the Republicans are the party that gave us the term "Job creators" so for Newt to make that sort of noise obviously means he's a socialist.

2)Newt took umbrage to the fact that at a debate the moderator asked him about his ex wife's statements about him wanting the freedom to bone his mistress while remaining married to his then wife. In short an open marriage. Do I have to point out that Newt led the charge to impeach president Clinton over his affair in the White House. While he was boning his mistress and married.  So obviously Newt is against the conventional American nuclear family.

3) Oh he also took umbrage to the idea that he might have actually lobbied on behalf of Freddie May and Fanny Mac or whatever the hell they're called. So apparently these two groups paid him in excess of a million dollars for nothing. Making him a lazy no good cheat. Or he's lying and he used his influence to help these two groups bring much of America's economy to ruin.

4) Which brings us to his big selling point that, he's a Washington Outsider. Unless you count his 30+ years in the house. Or that he was speaker of the house, and then was forced to leave the position after he was busted for ethics violations.

So the republicans of South Carolina voted for a Socialist, Anti Family, Lazy good for nothing or hard working Washington Outsider Lobbyist, with no connections to the system at all, or too many for his own good.

Or the people of South Carolina are dumb as posts and bought a bill of goods. Which leads me to my next great innovation for the church. The sale of pre indulgences for the truly dumb.  contact the good people of South Carolina on a one by one basis, and tell them the Church of Zodiac will forgive their sins, all of them for a fee of ten dollars which will guarantee them entrance to heaven no questions asked.
South Carolina has a population of about 8 million we should be able to clear a very nice profit very easily. And if we're lucky perhaps get a side benefit of a wave of "Heaven seekers" heading to the promised land straight away.

Get to the phones my faithful we have some holy bank to earn.